I am tired of feminists. Of their incessant ranting and fuming about how inconsiderate we men are. How all men are the same (dogs of the same breed?). How they have robbed women of their rightful place in history and how they have – from the time they became men from apes – subjected women to oppression (and hence caused them depression couple of thousands of years later).
Oh, give us a break you empty-headed feminists. And please, please spare us that “All Men” nonsense. Please understand that there is a fat line between supporting someone’s cause and maligning others. It is commendable that many women have come forward and helped the cause of women, to drag them out of their men-dominated and men-inflicted misery. These are women who work out there on the field, listening to the oppressed, talking to them, understanding their plight and taking their cause to heart. I wouldn’t call them feminists even though they work for women. They are like any other group of people who work for the under-privileged; who believe in a cause and try to help turn around the life of a section of people. They help people in distress. Men or Women isn’t so much of an issue there.
And then there is this metro-bred, well-heeled, frizzed-hair, foundation-covered, nothing-much-to-do-at-home-so-let-us-write-some-crap class of feminists. You would find them with remarkable regularity in magazines and weekend issues of newspapers (spoiling all the fun of reading a weekend issue). They go all out to bash the darker sex. Their shallow and insipid articles usually quote a couple of instances of women (who probably they happen to know personally) who have fought against all odds and secured success in a “Man’s world” (and I thought they would never use this word!). Then they claim – on the back of such handful of instances – that women have indeed “arrived” (where exactly were they all this while?).Why don’t these sun-deprived feminists drag their fat bodies to the hinterlands of India – where India truly lives – and find out how terribly insufficient their examples are to prove their point. There are places in rural India where women don’t know if they are meant to be treated at par with men. That they have the same right to life as men. That they are women, not slaves. These women don’t see these instances of “arrived” women and feel proud about it.
Let me tell you what irks me about these feminists. They, almost without fail, quote a couple of instances of successful women (as if women weren’t successful a decade ago; we had a women prime minister, remember?) and go on to claim that women are in no way inferior to men, because there is a women who is a pilot, there is another who is leading a corporate, there is yet another who is fighting for the country at the border. Five percent of their articles is about a couple of women they know, and the rest ninety percent is full of male-bashing and unbearable clichés about how a women effortlessly juggles various roles as a mother, sister, wife, lover etc. etc.
Men I suppose can play only one role at a time, say only a father, but not a son, only a husband but not a father, right?
In one of the articles I read recently, a woman wrote that the only reason why men must still be needed has just been taken away with the advancement in technology that fertilizes eggs without requiring sperm, making men completely dispensable. It’s unfortunate that I can’t show the expression on my face as I write this. “Utter crap” is an understatement. By writing such a text, the author did more harm to womankind than men do by showing how air-headed some women could be.
I respect women. I respect them from the bottom of my heart. Not because they have “Arrived”, or they can juggle several roles with ease, or because they are in the army or the corporate. I respect them because they are fellow human beings representing a different facet of humankind, with different skills and attributes. This mutual difference is at the heart of a beautiful coexistence that we must value and treasure. The charm of this coexistence is in knowing, recognizing and respecting this mutual difference. Men and Women are not meant to be equal in all aspects. They are meant to compliment each other for a beautiful world.
The point I am trying to make is that it makes little sense to bash men while supporting the cause of women. Men are not born to trouble women. I do agree that in many (in fact a lot) of instances, men have tortured women, humiliated them and belittled them. I agree that this has happened for generations in India and elsewhere in the world. I do recognize this grossly deplorable and sinister side of men.
However, I see the problem not as much in Men as in the way the human beings are designed. The problem with men is that they have been made physically stronger (does anyone dispute that?) by God, which, by default, gives them ready “power” at their disposal. The lanes of history is littered in examples of misuse of power by those who had them, because power comes with an uncontrollable urge to test its limits, to see the effects of its use on those it can be tried upon. It takes great courage and responsibility to control the urge to misuse power and we have seen many, whether men or women, falling prey to the spell of power. Men aren’t infallible. Many have failed to restrain their physical power and not use it on women to inflict pain upon them.
The other, and probably more relevant reason for why women have chosen to take a back seat in producing “tangible success” is their childbearing and nurturing responsibility, which, to some extent, has been forced upon them by the machinations of Almighty. This reason, however, has been misconstrued by men (some men, that is) as a sign of weakness and handicap, because in the days of brawn-centric domination, women couldn’t contribute much. Things, however, are different today, although not completely.
There is absolutely no doubt that India is changing, albeit slowly. Women today have a better support system than they had in the past. The realization about rights as women is deeper than it was in the past. Media reaches more homes than what would have been imagined by many, a decade ago. The stories of women who have risen above the cut have been beamed to and impressed upon many women who look forward to some inspiration to take that one final leap. India, however, still remains a vast under-penetrated land where women still accept their fate as is; their oppression sometimes explicit and sometimes subtle.
The society is a fabric of crisscrossing threads of men and women. You can’t remove or sever the horizontal threads leaving only the vertical threads and still keep the fabric intact. What women need to realize is that the men aren’t the only ones to comfortably blame for all their problems. Some part of the blame lies with them too and the major part with all of us, as a society, in failing to protect and nurture women so that they live with respect, dignity and achieve their full potential.
I am sure not many among us would go down on the street and fight for the cause of women. But each of us can do our bit in helping their cause. It could start with our friends, the children we would nurture (or already do), the people we know and most importantly the woman we live with or want to live with. Give women the love and respect they deserve and you will realize that nothing else in the world gives you better returns for what you invest (sorry for that financial adulteration, blame it on my management education).
In the meanwhile, I have a few words for those big-mouthed feminists who write cheap, insensitive articles on weekend papers: FCBs (who needs the expansion?), go take a walk. Remember to remove those heels. They can make you topple.”